Posted by on Feb 16, 2012 in Reflections | 6 comments

Getting there


If we are feeling the ill effects of being spread half an inch thick and going a million miles an hour, the solution is not to go ever faster and be spread even thinner. The solution is to take a deep breath, identify what really matters, and do more of that and less of other things.

- Margaret Kim

Keeping House: The Litany of Everyday Life


"I love you," he said when he got out of the car. Just like that. "Love you too," I replied, ever so nonchalantly, trying to play off the fact my insides were downright glowing. Lately, we've seemed to have found a tentative truce, each of us softening to the other's humble offering of giving a little, of taking baby steps toward meeting in the middle, whereas before there was only "my way or the highway." 


Who knew setting aside my chores for three quarters of an hour to watch Merlin on BBC, or picking up extra mechanical pencils and graph paper at the drug store (for a Star Frontiers role playing game), both seemingly trivial and inconsequential  activities, could be so eye-opening and healing? I'm learning that putting time into a person, the whole of them, into talking with them about what they like, listening respectfully and completely to what they have to say, forges a connection much better able to deal healthfully with the inevitable differences of opinion that creep up now and again.  A child who feels loved, exactly as they are, I now realize, is more open to being guided. 


Who knew overreacting could be such an incredible time and energy waster? Who'd have thought reorganizing my priorities in order to make connecting emotionally with  my kids and husband the most important undertaking of my day, of my life, would be so utterly, incomparably, un-fleetingly satisfying? It's been a rough trip, fraught with plenty of wrong turns and bumps in the road, but this morning, praise be to God, I feel like maybe, just maybe, we're finally getting there.