The photos in this post are from our last hurrah of the summer. This past weekend we got together with our dear friends at Mary's godparent's gorgeous house in the woods. Thank you, Lamberts! We love you!
This house is silent…and I'm trying to feel sadly nostalgic about it but, Oh my heart, this house is SILENT, and I'm flooded with gratitude for the quiet (Am I a horribly selfish mother?).
This morning I woke up at 5:45 (that's a.m.) to gather myself before the onslaught of back to school, "MOM, WHERE ARE MY…." questions, and to make the bacon (which I burned) and swedish pancakes my children had requested the day before.
Mary made it to the table first, in her school uniform shirt that hung nearly to her knees. She looked nervous. "What if I tattle on someone, Mama?" she asked me. "What if I don't know math?"
"Oh, baby, you'll do just fine." I know she'll do fine. How is she old enough to do fine without me all day?
Then down they all came, my older three children with the inside jokes I don't understand, noisy and lanky – their ginormous personalities ablaze. They were not interested in me walking them to their classrooms. "That won't hurt your feelings mom, will it?" my twelve-year-old wondered.
"No," I assured him. And I mean it – it didn't.
See, I've been praying extra hard for a healthy, tougher, layer of mom skin to protect my tender heart from my kids' budding drive for independence, their necessary questioning of…well, everything it seems sometimes. I'm lovingly toughening up to protect them as well, from me – me and my lapsed memory of what it's like to be raging with hormones. My own mother is handy for that – she remembers all too well my own delightful coming of age awkwardness. "My bangs look HORRIBLE! I'm not going to school!" I may or may not have yelled on a few occasions.
This is a brand new door I've just walked through. I'm still squinting, obviously, while my eyes adjust – I'm trying to get acclimated to these fresh surroundings.
My plan for today? Finish this blog post, for one, then tidy the kitchen. Oh yes, and to be thankful for you all with your kinder than kind birthday wishes! After that? I honestly couldn't tell you.
I'm taking this home alone thing on one minute at a time.
Blessings to you all and your families as you too begin anew this season!
Let us be patient with ourselves, and our offspring, spouses, co-workers, neighbors – ever mindful that our individual paths toward salvation are as varied and exquisite as snowflakes. We are many, we are incomparable, distinct, yet praise be to God, we are one.