Wow…whew…nothing gets your blood flowing quite like a Monday morning! I got the middle two off to school and the little one to her cousin's for a play date. My oldest is doing math at the kitchen table and I…well, I'm somewhere in the middle of clothes washing, breakfast clean-up, writing an essay and preparing for errands. Over the weekend, when I wasn't as preoccupied with the mothering logistics that keep me always on my toes and in need of some serious caffeine, I took a slow leisurely walk to celebrate the fact that my head no longer felt like it was being stomped on by my soccer cleats wearing children. On that walk, I listened to THIS and by the time I got back home my eyes were red from crying. I caught a glimpse of the goings on outside my small town bubble and again, like on Friday while reading the "Bearskinner" with Elijah (see previous post), was awakened momentarily to the realities of death and heroic love as a means to salvation. I wish I could stay alert, stay aware, but I am far too easily numbed by little cares, little wants. And so I seek out reminders to be thankful, to be vigilant about asking God to give me wisdom, to pray for those fighting hard to remain faithful despite the very trying circumstances threatening their hope, their courage…their very lives. I seek them out lest I forget what I am doing… I mean, really doing here.
This afternoon, while sitting in a waiting room at the dentist office, while returning library books and interacting with family members and strangers alike, I will recall (God, help me recall!) the longings of Father David ( you will know who Father David is when you listen to the above link…I just know you'll listen), the request for prayer I received on Friday from a woman whose own family is in mourning, the paralytic man in the Gospel reading this past Sunday who waited 38 years to be healed, and complain less. I will actively look for opportunities (God, help me look for opportunities!) to also love heroically – in small ways (by surrendering my time, my attention, my resources, by keeping my mouth shut when I want to criticize and asking for mercy when I want to judge despite my own abundant weaknesses and failures, by smiling and listening and truly caring about something or someone other than myself).
Oh my, its 11:00 am already?! Well, off I go! What a blessing to be needed, to have the chance to spread Christ's peace whenever and wherever possible.